Overcome insecurities 2 / perfectionismWed 9 Sep 2009, 09:27 (2) 25 Comment(s)
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is
when no effort is ever good enough
when you become fearful of making mistakes or of being humiliated
everything must be perfect
when you never seem to have enough time to do your best
when you demand perfection and intolerant of others's mistakes
Four reasons for being perfectionist
In our society, perfectionism is often seen as desirable. Even essential for success. But, studies show that perfectionism actually intervene with success. Are you a perfectionist?, what are the reasons?.
Perfectionism is one of the most common symptoms of low self esteem. Some of the reasons are listed below.
1. Fear of failure is among of the reasons for perfectionism: Often times, perfectionists blame their failures to lack of personal worth.
2. Another reasons is being afraid to make mistakes: For perfectionists, mistakes and failure are the same. They miss opportunities to learn and grow by living their lives avoiding mistakes.
3. Fear of rejection is a one of the most common reasons : Perfectionists are often afraid that if other people will see their flaws, they will be rejected.
4. Rigid Rules: Perfectionists live with rigid rules structured by a never-ending list of “should”.
Being a perfectionist, you probably learned early in your life that:
Others only value you because of the things you can do and have accomplished.
Your self esteem might have been based primarily from external standards. This leaves you defenseless and extremely sensitive to other people’s opinion and criticism.
You probably decided that being perfect is your only defense from such criticism.
Overcoming perfectionism
I come from perfectionists parents. They always said that if I don’t do it right, I should not do it.
Being the eldest of 3 children didn't help the situation either. I accepted a lot of responsibility from a very early age. Always wanting to do it right......
In my adult life I soon realised that not everybody is like that. People think differently from me. It was hard to cope in a world where things were suddenly so different.
When my children came along, I realised that my perfectionistic attitude is not going to work. Both of them were hyperactive and I had to learn to let go to survive.
It is a choice you make every day.....
(I just realised the last couple of months I am really battling to make that choice every day. It's as if I get older that I don't have the patience any more. And of course the service levels in our country at the moment frustrates me even more)
SO MY PROMISE TO MYSELF IS THAT I HAVE TO GET UP EVERY MORNING AND MAKE THAT CHOICE EVERY DAY!
To be continued - low self esteem!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Overcome Insecurities
Overcome insecuritiesMon 7 Sep 2009, 06:14 (3) 7 Comment(s)
Insecurity has to do with lack of confidence. It is a problem and a limitation to personal growth and peace of mind. It's acceptable for teenagers to go through this phase but it's sad that most adults still suffer from self doubt and insecurities. It's that "I'm not good enough" thinking that crowds the mind.
You may not want to talk about this anxiety but to others it is obvious. People can tell that you need reassurance through your actions, attitude and gestures. You've got to get it sorted out and rid it from your system or you would put not only you but also others through mental distress.
You can start by telling about your insecurity to someone you trust, a counselor or a coach. It doesn't make you less of a man or woman to talk about your weakness.
At the same time, become more aware and notice your feelings so that you can pause and think through before you continue with your habitual way of reacting.
Watch your behavior like how another person would see you. Do you think it is agreeable and pleasant?
Take a look at your set of beliefs. One of the ways to challenge them is to keep asking yourself questions and insist upon answers until you reach a threshold where you tell yourself, "That's it."
Put constructive thoughts inside your head instead of replaying the same disturbing internal voices. Reprogram your mind with a new image and reaffirm with positive words.
Visualize your image, one of confidence and certainty and act as if you are already confident and assured.
Pay attention, see where you need to improve and continue working on it. Persist and with each small shift in your attitude, you will overcome your insecurities.
I red this article about insecurities & it opened my eyes for me. Although I don't think about myself as a person with lots of insecurities, I realised but in any one of us there is still that little child, that wants to do everyting to please others.
I have been going through a very difficult time in my life the last few months.
I realised with a shock that it was me that changed. I now want everybody in my family to change as well. Some good....others not so good!
If I think : what brings about this change?
I was raised in a house where there was no grey areas - either right or wrong. Structured & rigid like you cannot believe.
Now that I am getting older I want everybody to be like this.......but it's not their personality!
(to be continued)
Insecurity has to do with lack of confidence. It is a problem and a limitation to personal growth and peace of mind. It's acceptable for teenagers to go through this phase but it's sad that most adults still suffer from self doubt and insecurities. It's that "I'm not good enough" thinking that crowds the mind.
You may not want to talk about this anxiety but to others it is obvious. People can tell that you need reassurance through your actions, attitude and gestures. You've got to get it sorted out and rid it from your system or you would put not only you but also others through mental distress.
You can start by telling about your insecurity to someone you trust, a counselor or a coach. It doesn't make you less of a man or woman to talk about your weakness.
At the same time, become more aware and notice your feelings so that you can pause and think through before you continue with your habitual way of reacting.
Watch your behavior like how another person would see you. Do you think it is agreeable and pleasant?
Take a look at your set of beliefs. One of the ways to challenge them is to keep asking yourself questions and insist upon answers until you reach a threshold where you tell yourself, "That's it."
Put constructive thoughts inside your head instead of replaying the same disturbing internal voices. Reprogram your mind with a new image and reaffirm with positive words.
Visualize your image, one of confidence and certainty and act as if you are already confident and assured.
Pay attention, see where you need to improve and continue working on it. Persist and with each small shift in your attitude, you will overcome your insecurities.
I red this article about insecurities & it opened my eyes for me. Although I don't think about myself as a person with lots of insecurities, I realised but in any one of us there is still that little child, that wants to do everyting to please others.
I have been going through a very difficult time in my life the last few months.
I realised with a shock that it was me that changed. I now want everybody in my family to change as well. Some good....others not so good!
If I think : what brings about this change?
I was raised in a house where there was no grey areas - either right or wrong. Structured & rigid like you cannot believe.
Now that I am getting older I want everybody to be like this.......but it's not their personality!
(to be continued)
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Cortisone
For reference of Ilse's shoulder injury!
The cortisone was injected into her shoulder to relieve inflamation of the bursa.
What is cortisone?
Cortisone is a type of steroid that is produced naturally by a gland in your body called the adrenal gland. Cortisone is released from the adrenal gland when your body is under stress. Natural cortisone is released into the blood stream and is relatively short-acting.
Injectable cortisone is synthetically produced and has many different trade names (e.g. Celestone, Kenalog, etc.), but is a close derivative of your body's own product. The most significant differences are that synthetic cortisone is not injected into the blood stream, but into a particular area of inflammation. Also, the synthetic cortisone is designed to act more potently and for a longer period of time (days instead of minutes).
How does the cortisone injection help?Cortisone is a powerful anti-inflammatory medication. Cortisone is not a pain relieving medication, it only treats the inflammation. When pain is decreased from cortisone it is because the inflammation is diminished. By injecting the cortisone into a particular area of inflammation, very high concentrations of the medication can be given while keeping potential side-effects to a minimum.
What are some common reasons for a cortisone injection?Many conditions where inflammation is an underlying problem are amenable to cortisone shots. These include, but are certainly not limited to
Shoulder Bursitis
Arthritis
Trigger Finger
Tennis Elbow
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
Does the cortisone injection hurt?The shot can be slightly painful, especially when given into a joint, but in skilled hands it usually is well tolerated. Often the cortisone injection can be performed with a very small needle that causes little discomfort. However, sometimes a slightly larger needle must be used, especially if your physician is attempting to removed fluid through the needle prior to injecting the cortisone. Numbing medication, such as Lidocaine or Marcaine, is often injected with the cortisone to provide temporary relief of the affected area. Also, topical anesthetics can help numb the skin in an area being injected.
Injectable cortisone is synthetically produced and has many different trade names (e.g. Celestone, Kenalog, etc.), but is a close derivative of your body's own product. The most significant differences are that synthetic cortisone is not injected into the blood stream, but into a particular area of inflammation. Also, the synthetic cortisone is designed to act more potently and for a longer period of time (days instead of minutes).
How does the cortisone injection help?Cortisone is a powerful anti-inflammatory medication. Cortisone is not a pain relieving medication, it only treats the inflammation. When pain is decreased from cortisone it is because the inflammation is diminished. By injecting the cortisone into a particular area of inflammation, very high concentrations of the medication can be given while keeping potential side-effects to a minimum.
What are some common reasons for a cortisone injection?Many conditions where inflammation is an underlying problem are amenable to cortisone shots. These include, but are certainly not limited to
Shoulder Bursitis
Arthritis
Trigger Finger
Tennis Elbow
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
Does the cortisone injection hurt?The shot can be slightly painful, especially when given into a joint, but in skilled hands it usually is well tolerated. Often the cortisone injection can be performed with a very small needle that causes little discomfort. However, sometimes a slightly larger needle must be used, especially if your physician is attempting to removed fluid through the needle prior to injecting the cortisone. Numbing medication, such as Lidocaine or Marcaine, is often injected with the cortisone to provide temporary relief of the affected area. Also, topical anesthetics can help numb the skin in an area being injected.
SIDE EFFECTS Probably the most common side effect is a 'cortisone flare,' a condition where the injected cortisone crystallizes and can cause a brief period of pain worse than before the shot. This usually lasts a day or two and is best treated by icing the injected area. Another common side-effect is whitening of the skin where the injection is given. This is only a concern in people with darker skin, and is not harmful, but patients should be aware of this.
Other side-effects of cortisone injections, although rare, can be quite serious. The most concerning is infection, especially if the injection is given into a joint. The best prevention is careful injection technique, with sterilization of the skin using iodine and/or alcohol. Also, patients with diabetes may have a transient increase in their blood sugar which they should watch for closely.
Because cortisone is a naturally occurring substance, true allergic responses to the injected substance do not occur. However, it is possible to be allergic to other aspects of the injection, most commonly the betadine many physicians use to sterilize the skin.
Can I get a cortisone injection more than once? Yes. There is no rule as to how many cortisone injections can be given. Often physicians do not want to give more than three, but there is not really a specific limit to the number of shots. However, there are some practical limitations. If a cortisone injection wears off quickly or does not help the problem, then repeating it may not be worthwhile. Also, animal studies have shown effects of weakening of tendons and softening of cartilage with cortisone injections. Repeated cortisone injections multiply these effects and increase the risk of potential problems. This is the reason many physicians limit the number of injections they offer to a patient.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Rotator Cuff Injury
Ilse(16) is a very keen sportswoman. She works & trains hard, never complains about training and competing. When the friends go out to jol, she plays hockey games or competes in galas.
There is not many, even boys, that could keep up with her. She is physically very strong
She swims, does life saving & plays indoor & outdoor hockey.
Her training consists of at least 4 swimming sessions and 2 other excersise sessions a week. Normally she doesn't do swimming training after SA Champs(April) - the start of the 3rd term in July. During the Dec/Jan holidays they do very intensive training consisting of 2 sessions a day, 2 hour swimming in the morning and a 2 hour gym session in the afternoon, 6 days a week, to prepare for the swimming season.
Late January she started complaining about pain in her arm, rested a few days. The pain eased off a bit, but eventually we made an appointment with the physio. They told her to stop swimming for 3 weeks, while getting treatment. She had to compete in the KZN trials during this time. After 3 weeks & strapping her arm, she started swimming again, but not doing butterfly or backstroke. She continued training at gym 3 times a week as well.
She did so well with her swimming and made the Ethekweni Schools team as well as Kzn lifesaving team & swam her best times, although she couldn't train properly.
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She also played indoor hockey for her school 1st team and Rovers 4th team
After SA Champs in April, she stopped swimming & continued with outdoor hockey.
She played for her schools first team & Berea Rovers 4th(club)
Her shoulder never healed completely, in spite of the rest & physio. 2 weeks ago she had an appointment with an Orthopedic Surgeon. After examination & lots of xrays of her neck, shoulders, he gave her a cortisone injection into the injured shoulder.
The diagnoses Shoulder Bursitis.
Today we went to see the Biokeniticus to help her to strenghen the shoulder muscles, and she was told no sport for another 6 weeks. She is not even allowed to ride her bike.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Broodbome in our garden
CYCADS.
http://www.florcomgardens.co.za/?cat=29
1 Botaniese naam: Encephalartos ferox
Gewone naam : Tongaland Broodboom.
Groeibeskrywing
Encephalartos ferox word gekenmerk deur donkergroen leeragtige blare met stekelrige pinnae. Blare is een tot twee meter lank.
Die stam groei gewoonlik nie hoog bo die grond nie en vertak selde.
Een tot 10 keëls kan per plant voorkom. Manlike keëls is 40 tot 50 cm lank met ‘n deursnit van 7 tot 10 cm. Vroulike keëls is 25 tot 50 cm lank met ‘n deursnit van 20 tot 40 cm. Elke vroulike keël dra ongeveer 500 helderrooi sade.
Ferox with two cones. They are bright red & have been on the plant for 6 weeks already
http://www.florcomgardens.co.za/?cat=29
1 Botaniese naam: Encephalartos ferox
Gewone naam : Tongaland Broodboom.
Groeibeskrywing
Encephalartos ferox word gekenmerk deur donkergroen leeragtige blare met stekelrige pinnae. Blare is een tot twee meter lank.
Die stam groei gewoonlik nie hoog bo die grond nie en vertak selde.
Een tot 10 keëls kan per plant voorkom. Manlike keëls is 40 tot 50 cm lank met ‘n deursnit van 7 tot 10 cm. Vroulike keëls is 25 tot 50 cm lank met ‘n deursnit van 20 tot 40 cm. Elke vroulike keël dra ongeveer 500 helderrooi sade.
Kom aan die noordkus van Kwazulu Natal en ook in Mosambiek voor.
This photo was taken over the weekend in our garden.
Ferox with two cones. They are bright red & have been on the plant for 6 weeks already
The second species that I have in the garden is a dwarf plant & blue in colour. It was a very small plant when I got it, and has made 8 leaves the last 2 years. It is still in a pot.
2.Encephalartos horridus - (Jacq.) Lehmann
The stems of typical, mature Encephalartos horridus plants are between 50cm and 1m in length and 20cm to 30cm in diameter. When grown in deep soil, the bottom half or more of the stem may be covered by soil, creating the impression that E. horridus is a dwarf species. In more rocky areas, the stems may be entirely above ground level. The entire crown of the stem is slightly woolly
3.Encephalartos villosus - Lemaire
Encephalartos villosus has a short sub-terranean stem, more or less continuous with the main root. In mature plants the stem protrudes slightly above ground level but not more than about 30cm. The top of the stem is densely woolly and it is because of this woolliness that the name villosus was coined by Lemaire.
These photo's were taken in our garden in September. There were 3 cones on the plant & when ripe the yellow scales fall off to reveal the bloodred seeds.
I have 3 other species that I haven't been able to identify.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Folly Bridge - our farm in Drakensburg
Weekend Nature update
10:06AM, Tuesday, 05 May, 2009
We were admiring the nature this weekend. The change of season is amazing. Something we miss living on the North Coast.
This is the hole where the kids normally jump off the rocks into the water. But no jumping happened.
This was the favorite fishing spot, but no trout was caught
This pictured I zoomed in a lot, just look at all the different colours of green growing on the cliff.
The " yellow" oak tree stood out in al majesty.
The eye of the fontain that feed the stream that goes past our house.
And a new life, to remind us that life goes in, even if we go in autumn & winter.
10:06AM, Tuesday, 05 May, 2009
We were admiring the nature this weekend. The change of season is amazing. Something we miss living on the North Coast.
It was cold, but bearable.
The water looked so inviting, but oh it was freezing cold!
This is the hole where the kids normally jump off the rocks into the water. But no jumping happened.This was the favorite fishing spot, but no trout was caughtThis pictured I zoomed in a lot, just look at all the different colours of green growing on the cliff. The " yellow" oak tree stood out in al majesty.The eye of the fontain that feed the stream that goes past our house. And a new life, to remind us that life goes in, even if we go in autumn & winter.
God will never, never, never let us down if we have faith and put our trust in Him. He will always look after us. So we must cleave to Jesus. Our whole life must simply be woven into Jesus. Mother Teresa
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