Overcome Insecurities - perfectionism

Overcome insecurities 2 / perfectionismWed 9 Sep 2009, 09:27 (2) 25 Comment(s)


What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is
when no effort is ever good enough
when you become fearful of making mistakes or of being humiliated
everything must be perfect
when you never seem to have enough time to do your best
when you demand perfection and intolerant of others's mistakes
Four reasons for being perfectionist
In our society, perfectionism is often seen as desirable. Even essential for success. But, studies show that perfectionism actually intervene with success. Are you a perfectionist?, what are the reasons?.
Perfectionism is one of the most common symptoms of low self esteem. Some of the reasons are listed below.
1. Fear of failure is among of the reasons for perfectionism: Often times, perfectionists blame their failures to lack of personal worth.
2. Another reasons is being afraid to make mistakes: For perfectionists, mistakes and failure are the same. They miss opportunities to learn and grow by living their lives avoiding mistakes.
3. Fear of rejection is a one of the most common reasons : Perfectionists are often afraid that if other people will see their flaws, they will be rejected.
4. Rigid Rules: Perfectionists live with rigid rules structured by a never-ending list of “should”.
Being a perfectionist, you probably learned early in your life that:
Others only value you because of the things you can do and have accomplished.
Your self esteem might have been based primarily from external standards. This leaves you defenseless and extremely sensitive to other people’s opinion and criticism.
You probably decided that being perfect is your only defense from such criticism.
Overcoming perfectionism
I come from perfectionists parents. They always said that if I don’t do it right, I should not do it.
Being the eldest of 3 children didn't help the situation either. I accepted a lot of responsibility from a very early age. Always wanting to do it right......
In my adult life I soon realised that not everybody is like that. People think differently from me. It was hard to cope in a world where things were suddenly so different.
When my children came along, I realised that my perfectionistic attitude is not going to work. Both of them were hyperactive and I had to learn to let go to survive.
It is a choice you make every day.....
(I just realised the last couple of months I am really battling to make that choice every day. It's as if I get older that I don't have the patience any more. And of course the service levels in our country at the moment frustrates me even more)
SO MY PROMISE TO MYSELF IS THAT I HAVE TO GET UP EVERY MORNING AND MAKE THAT CHOICE EVERY DAY!
To be continued - low self esteem!